How Do You Handle an Irate Customer?

4 min read
Bitrix24 Team
March 18, 2019
Last updated: November 26, 2021
How Do You Handle an Irate Customer?
In this article, we present you a step-by-step guide on how to deal with angry customers without losing your cool… or losing the customer. There is a total of 10 steps that you should definitely try in a real-life situation. Read on to find out how!

How Do You Handle an Irate Customer?

Unhappy customers are part of running a business, though definitely an unpleasant one that most of us want to avoid. However, it is one of those problems that have to be dealt with, the sooner the better. Avoiding an angry customer won’t solve the problem - you have to know how to deal with angry customers in order to defuse the situation and leave the customers happy (or at least, not angry.)

Stop Arguing

Don’t engage in conflict. When people get angry, they want to fight. If they can’t fight physically, they’ll often settle for a vehement verbal sparring match. First of all, it is simply not nice, arguing with people, especially if they are your customers. Ever heard of the expression “the customer is always right?”

Plus, it’s one of those lose-lose situations. Even if you “own” the argument, yell louder, and make better points, you’ve only made your customer more unhappy. You simply can’t win in this situation with your customer.

So don’t let your ego get in the midst of a pointless argument. Take a deep breath. Winning an argument does not win you a customer. Just keep listening patiently and prepare to take notes.

Remind Yourself of the Goal

The goal isn’t to win the argument. The goal isn’t to save as much money as possible. The goal isn’t to get the customer out of the door as quickly as possible. The goal is to do whatever you can to make sure that your customer gets what he or she needs.

That doesn’t mean you have to give in to unreasonable demands, break company policy, or ignore common sense in order to make your customer happy. It does mean that your job is to figure out what, in this particular situation, your customer is really looking for. Once you’ve figured that out, you can look at your options for how to meet that need.

Acknowledge Your Customer’s Pain

Do not belittle their frustration. Do not say things like, “Well, I don’t know why you’re so upset,” or “That’s not really a big deal.” For your customer, this is a big deal. When you invalidate their frustration, you simply cause more of it to bubble up.

Acknowledge that they have a right to be upset even if you think they are overreacting. Let them know that you hear their frustration and certainly sympathize with them.

Listen Without Defense

It’s human nature to defend ourselves against accusations. Fight against this urge. Let your customer tell her story without interruption. Don’t make excuses, even if they are valid. Don’t invent reasons. Don’t give reasons that are perfectly true and good. Don’t tell your side of the story at all.

Just listen, without complaint or defense or excuse, and - if possible - with a sympathetic expression on your face. After all, you would probably feel the same if you were in their shoes.

Repeat the Issue Back

Once you’ve understood the entire situation, repeat what you see as the main issue. You can go with phrases like:

  • “You didn’t receive the product you ordered and then you couldn’t get a refund.”

  • “Our employee was rude to you and didn’t help you find what you needed.”

  • “The product didn’t match up with what you thought it would be.”

  • “You lost time because of technical failure on our part.”

Be as accurate as you can and rephrase as needed until your customer agrees with your statement of the issue.


It's a sad truth that customers often approach customer service providers expecting a battle. Past experience has trained them to expect such.

Reassure your customer that you are not here to fight them but to help them. This reassurance can defuse tension and remind your customers that you are here to serve them.

Ask for a Solution

This is a brilliant move if you can master it, and you can. All you have to do is ask your customers this question:

“What would be the best thing I can do to make this right for you?”

Instead of presenting a bunch of options that the customer can shoot down, you’re asking for help. For your customer’s help. Let them rattle on for a bit if needed, but bring that question back until you get an answer to it. Here are some examples:

  • “What will it take to make you happy?”

  • “What would you like me to do to fix this?”

  • “How can I make this better?”

Offer Options

Once they’ve told you what they think would be a good solution, turn that into an option or two that you are willing and able to provide.

For example, a customer might demand a full refund on something you simply can’t provide a refund on; so respond with an acknowledgment and then an option.

“I wish I could give you exactly what you want - a full refund - but I can’t. Here is another option: store credit for XYZ amount.”

Repeat Steps 7 and 8 Until You Agree on a Solution

You might have to go through these steps a few times on an angry customer who won’t calm down. Be patient.

Follow Through and Follow Up

As quickly and courteously and thoroughly as possible, make good on what you’ve agreed to do. Then follow up, sometime in the future, with a phone call, email, or letter to your customers. This is truly “going the extra mile”; if you take the time to do so, however, you can turn an angry customer into a satisfied one.

Maintain your calm, walk through these steps, and you can turn an angry customer into your company’s biggest promoters.


That’s it for our “How do you handle an irate customer?” article - we hope you find it useful and try on an angry customer. Better yet, we hope you never have to use it. That is why we wish you to have as few angry customers as possible!

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Table of Content
How Do You Handle an Irate Customer? Stop Arguing Remind Yourself of the Goal Acknowledge Your Customer’s Pain Listen Without Defense Repeat the Issue Back Reassure Ask for a Solution Offer Options Repeat Steps 7 and 8 Until You Agree on a Solution Follow Through and Follow Up Conclusion
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